i do bad things because i listen to music with swears
Dave Franco being a huge dork during interviews
when referring to people, use “glitch” instead of “bitch”. call them glitches. say theyre being glitchy. not only do you get to avoid using a misogynistic slur, you can also imply that their negativity is an anomaly in the web grid of your life and thus needs to be patched
I REALLY LIKE THIS ACTUALLY
REBLOGGING AGAIN BECAUSE ANDREW JUST POINTED OUT TO ME THAT HE ACTUALLY SNIFFS THE CELERY AND PUTS IT BACK AND THEN GOES FOR THE CARROTS, I CAN’T.
imagine a vampire going “fuck it” and just taking some antihistamines before going to town on a plate of garlic bread
later on it’s wheeled into the ER with like a puffed up face and it just goes “I have been on this earth 10 thousand years but i have not lived until this day”
its a shame that in 6 or so billion years, any and all existence on earth will be wiped out by the sun’s expansion, and it’s almost scary to think about how even now the sun continues to grow bigger and hotter, sexy and hotter let’s shut it down. pound the alarm